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22 November 2005 @ 12:02 pm
ccclxviii (my life is ________)  
Cultural taxonomy is a double negative.

We cling to identify ourselves as different things, based on what we're into, correct? Music. Sex. Race, on occasion. Region. It's become commonplace to subconsciously slap labels on ourselves and others, whether or not these labels are known/proven to be valid.

Observing all this has had a strange effect on me. This sort of behaviour has forced me to think about how I identify with certain aspects of living, and even compromise them where convenient.


A great part of this calendar year was spent questioning my sexuality. The only problem with this was feeling intermittent needs to 'pick sides'. I spent too much time catering to everyone else about my own preferences, which got confusing very quickly. You see, I have this habit of caring what other people think to such a degree that it outweighs my own quiet opinion(s) at times. Once I realised that was unnecessary and self-destructive, it got easier to breathe and think, and ergo I deduced that being label-less was better than trying to apply any false ones.

Upon entering high school, my mother was very casual about my coming out as bisexual. This brought me relief until she went on to say that she had "gone through that stage too". (She also cautioned me "not to advertise" - meaning my spiked collars, chained wallets and '½ gay' pins.) I don't believe she's homophobic by any means, but as the years went on, she grew more and more uncomfortable if I mentioned in detail about certain women being attractive. From that experience, I began to keep that side of me quiet. (As well as the fact that I liked to do alleged 'guy things': weightlifting, flag football, etc) I've dated both sexes, and had my share of good and bad with the lot of them.

Want to know what I'm really, truly attracted to?


Maddening concept, isn't it?


I haven't even scratched the surface. There are other aspects of my life that may properly apply to the frenzy of the general public's OK on classifications. I could see how there are positive points to doing this - making folks feel good about themselves, building confidence and all that good jazz. The key is to not doing so to excess, not rushing into certain titles simply to be socially accepted... in theory.

Individuals in America and beyond are capable of being smart as a whip, but somehow, when we all come together... the median IQ factor drops significantly. I just don't get it.
iTunes: regina spektor / ode to divorce
Commander Shepardlakilika on November 22nd, 2005 08:18 pm (UTC)
I love this post. Well said.
khaestaaradia: prurple swingkhaestaaradia on November 22nd, 2005 08:36 pm (UTC)
It was a good post.. people dont realy know the struggles about being bi... I had my mom curse me as a lesbian becuase I would hang up picture of popstars... I have a big size of the britney spears roling sotne mag taht casued so much drama... So i can definertly relate to what you are saying
Brandy: indignationbrandelyn on November 22nd, 2005 08:43 pm (UTC)

I'm a bit confused. If you identify, are you doing so as bisexual or lesbian?


I don't understand another thing. Plastering popstars on peoples' walls is almost as American as apple pie. Sometimes I still have this thing for Lindsay Lohan (before she got all stupid and dyed her hair blonde), but I know my mother would rather rip a poster to shreds before it got on her walls.
khaestaaradiakhaestaaradia on November 22nd, 2005 09:08 pm (UTC)
Im bi but before I actually started dating guys my mom would curse me out for being a lesbian. I have no problme with women I think they are beautiful and sensual, but I also like men. If that clears things up a bit... and yeah I thinkmy mom just didnt want to see her daughter be a dike... The fact that brit is half naked in most of her pics doesnt help....
Brandy: flirtationbrandelyn on November 22nd, 2005 09:19 pm (UTC)

Come on, it's Britney flippin' Spears. Are there many pictures where she's NOT half-naked? :p
still annie... any way you cut ittesseracting on November 22nd, 2005 09:34 pm (UTC)
Maddening concept, isn't it?

Maddeningly logical. To me, at least. :)
simplecity2htwn on November 22nd, 2005 10:20 pm (UTC)
The older I get, the more I feel as though the key to happiness is not figuring out which little pre-defined mold your life fits into, but instead determining what it is about your own life that makes YOU happy. Often times, I think that it's unrealistic to hope and dream that others will be able to "figure you out". And ultimately, it's unimportant.

Figure out what it is about "people" that you like and then keep a keen eye out for it. Everybody else is just scenery.
cannot_forget on November 23rd, 2005 12:15 am (UTC)
Of course you label yourself daily, otherwise, you have no identity.
And, you never cared what anyone thought before, so I didn't expect you start now. Of course when you open things up on somewhat of a public forum there will be comments.

This is the same thing you've been saying for a long time. So now you know you won't change.
Shadow DwelleRrealm_of_chaos on November 23rd, 2005 12:54 am (UTC)
I like this entry.
I try not to give a flying fuck what society considers "normal". I'm actually usually interested in wat the general public finds weird or different .. ya gotta love controversy.
I feel sorry for ppl who arn't really open-minded .. they must lead really boring lives.
Beni_am_here_now on November 23rd, 2005 05:42 am (UTC)
Individuals in America and beyond are capable of being smart as a whip, but somehow, when we all come together... the median IQ factor drops significantly. I just don't get it.

Unfortunately people are selfish and power vacuums are created, wherein the IQ disappears to. It's much like the mob mentality, a collective whereby the most manipulative or charasimatic lead the rest off of a cliff.
droid_1 on November 23rd, 2005 12:13 pm (UTC)
Doy. Wee.

If even identical twins have their differences, how is it people think that regular people can fit into a mold?

Individuals are just that. Individuality implies differences. Imagine: God likes variety. No two trees are the same. People are more complex than trees.

Yes, labels and stereotypes obscure reality.

Yes, real-time conversations do not lend themselves well to getting into anything very deeply. People seem to want to keep changing subjects, as if fearing to bore anyone, and not wanting to analyze anything.

So they are:
crass ( P ) Pronunciation Key (krs)
adj. crass·er, crass·est
So crude and unrefined as to be lacking in discrimination and sensibility.

I find that I myself, when speaking to "regular people" (as opposed to writing) tend to use a lesser vocabulary, as if people when speaking have to use the lowest common denominator-type vocabulary in order to communicate. I find it an odd phenomenon. "I speak what I hear, but I write what I read."

I admire your mind.